I fucking love astrology. I love reading a birth chart, I love learning the myths of all the constellations, I love when someone says, “I don’t believe in astrology,” and I ask if they’re a Capricorn, and they say, “Yes.” Most of all, I love the idea that all our wants and desires are influenced by something as inexplicably colossal and mythical as the universe. So if you’re in need of a gift for someone as exhaustingly obsessed with their sign as I am, then your stars have aligned.
These gifts not only say, “I know your sign,” but also, “I understand your sign.” For any astrology fan, having someone consider your sign’s very specific and definitely-not-vague-enough-so-that-they-can-apply-to-anyone characteristics, and then choose a gift based on that and that alone is the greatest gift of all—as long as it’s not any piece of jewelry with your zodiac constellation. (No offense.)
Personally, I subscribe to the theory that the sun sign is the best and most realized version of oneself. So, while the sun sign is only a very small piece of a human’s entire zodiac profile, a gift based on it encourages your Virgo or Pisces to step into their live-laugh-eat-pray-love potential. “oH ReAlLy WhErE’s ThE sCiEnCe StUdiEs oN tHaT?” What a crazy question. Obviously, there are no studies—because science cannot account for the star magic living inside all of us. (Please don’t click out of this gift guide.)
I don’t claim to be an astrologer, just a stereotypical Sagittarius (with a Taurus rising, Virgo moon, and Capricorn stellium) who’s read and obsessed over astrology since I was a kid. These 36 gifts are fully based on all the signs’ stereotypes and are listed in order of my favorite to least favorite zodiac sign. (Just kidding. Sagittariuses love to joke.)
