The phrase “living rent-free in your head” has lived rent-free in my head for some time. Though it was once relegated to self-help types and the very reddest trolls, its usage has expanded in recent months. In the first roundup, we surveyed a distressing variety of skull realty around the world. As of this morning, there’s no longer anything to be done. The phrase has cozied up inside our language. Powerless to stop it, I can merely document its progress as it knocks down the drywall between my lobes, paints over the old wallpaper on my cranium, and radically re-envisions the space.
Tenant: Bryce Harper
Landlord: Tom Boswell
Rent: Free
Tenant: Colby Covington
Landlord: UFC welterweight champion Kamaru Usman
Rent: Free
Tenant: You, potentially
Landlord: A boat without permanent mooring
Rent: Free
Tenant: Ben Simmons
Landlord: The Nets’ zeitgeist(?)
Rent: Free
Tenant: Fictional character Susan Anderson
Landlord: Lexington, N.C. area author Pandora Frank Hamilton
Rent: Free
Tenant: Dirk Nowitzki
Landlord: Dwyane T. Wade Retirement Community
Rent: Free
Tenant: Matthew Tkachuk (maintains pied-à-terre in Drew Doughty)
Landlord: Colorado Avalanche
Rent: Free, for one night only
Tenant: YMCA father Jared Dudley
Landlord: City of Philadelphia
Rent: Free
Tenant: Boston Bruins
Landlord: Toronto Maple Leafs
Rent: Free
Tenant: I suppose it was
Landlord: a matter of time
Rent: but still, c’mon