Modern Bonnie & Clyde Reportedly Tried to Steal $1K Worth of Beer From Target

If you’re in need of a small break from coronavirus and/or primary election news, a couple from Louisiana allegedly attempted to commit a low-key, high-stakes beer-jacking at a couple Targets. According to reports, they just put a hundreds of dollars worth of beer in shopping carts and walked out, which is wild! Once, when I was the manager on duty at American Apparel, someone stole a whole rack of disco pants without me noticing, but this feat seems even more impressive.

The Associated Press reports that Ashley Forbes, 32, and husband, Matthew Forbes, 35, allegedly made six different beer runs at two Targets in East Baton Rouge, ultimately stealing a total of $1000 in beer between February 24 and February 29. They were spotted on security cameras and ultimately arrested on Sunday, when Matthew Forbes was caught trying to stuff a drill in his pants in Walmart.

They’ve been charged with theft, possession of drug paraphernalia (Ashley), and not inviting me to whatever rager they were clearly planning to throw.