Deadspin's Father's Day gift guide

I know Old Man Mickelson won a major at 50, but that doesn’t give your father an excuse to spend his fortunes on an overpriced indoor putting green. Sorry, dad, you’re not making the Tour.

There is, however, a way for him to improve his short game without having to break the bank or leave his home.

Putt-A-Bout greens are portable, affordable, and can treat dad’s golf obsession. What more can you ask for?

Getting a gift for a new dad or a dad to be? Does he like to explore nature and all it has to offer? Does he want to be better than that guy who leaves the baby with his spouse and plays golf all day? Well, maybe he needs this innovative contraption.

This day pack-plus-baby pack allows new parents to carry their child while walking or hiking. Newborns will be addicted to screens in about three to five years. Better get them outside while they’re young!

Does your dad sweat? Yes? Of course he does. Dads can sweat for no reason at all.

So instead of watching your father walk around with drenched armpits in that cotton shirt he always wears, before you suggest a new deodorant (or shirt) how about trying the Cooling Cuff? It’s a cooling pack for your wrist that lowers your body temperature and stops sweat. It can help after workouts, too.

This may not be for every dad, but odds are your father or husband likes tools. Just a wild guess.

With Geekey, though, a toolbox is consolidated into one device. In addition to being a handy tool for cyclists, the key is also a wench, ruler, protractor, screwdriver, wire bender/cutter, and, of course, a bottle opener.

Oh, and I almost forgot, your dad can smoke a bowl out of this thing, too.

If your dad is looking for a new athletic hobby, try swimming. It’s really the best form of exercise, period. It works out your entire body, can help improve cardiovascular health, and it’s not as hard on your joints. Swimming is also, you know, fun.

Yeah, he can get the classic Speedo or wear boring board shorts in the pool. But what about mixing it up with these colorful trousers?

Plus, dad can match with his kid! Aww.

Maybe dad is looking for a new dad hat. Check out the O.G. cap from NOSOLO. It’s simple enough for a dad but has a little minimalist edge to it. Trendy. He can wear it on the links or bring it to a party. It’s cool for any occasion, really.

Also, when you support NOSOLO know that a portion of every hat sold is donated to National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

Nobody goes solo. Get it?

“People of all backgrounds suffer from various forms of mental illness – there is literally zero discrimination when it comes to the type of people who are afflicted. In sports, athletes are coming forward with their mental health struggles at an alarming rate,” said NOSOLO co-founder John Toracinta. “We donate 20 percent of our profit to NAMI so that resources can continue to be made available to those in need. We support Naomi Osaka’s decision to withdraw from the French Open in order to focus on her day-to-day mental health and we hope every league at every level in every sport sees this as an opportunity to take initiative to increase the level of support provided to their players.”

There’s another dad “hat” on the market, too. You can already see yours wearing this one, right?

I know, it’s a bit much. But has that ever stopped dad? He can now be that guy with the cool new toy on the hiking trails or just walking around town.

Maybe the best sport for this contraption is fishing. Think about it, the sun roasts you all day and your hands are too full to hold an umbrella. And speaking of fishing...

Picture this — you, your dad, out on the open sea ready to haul in a big catch. Except there’s something else in the water that wants whatever’s at the end of your line.

Those damn sharks could ruin your day on the ocean! But the Zeppelin technology from Sharkbanz can help keep ’em away. It’s the world’s first shark deterrent tackle and it might help dad reel one in.

This kit, which comes with a message roller and CBD serum, can take care of all those sore muscles and joints.

And chill, dad. CBD doesn’t get you high.

What happens when you don’t want to go “back to normal” with your pre-game tailgate setup? Instead of a boring old beer can chicken on the grill, why not give the bird a pair of sunglasses and a motorcycle? No, really. This thing actually exists, and you can already see your dad smiling at it, can’t you.