There’s a new leader in the clubhouse for athletes who blew a ridiculous amount of money in the worst ways. Vince Young, everybody’s favorite Longhorn quarterback, made more than $35 million in his seven-year career. And he spent a lot of it at The Cheesecake Factory.
Per a Sportscasting story, Young averaged about $5,000 per week at Old Chicago for snobs, and even went as far as to drop $15,000 in one sitting. Now, having never been to a Cheesecake Factory myself, that feels like a lot of… cheesecake? It’s a high-end chain, not some Michelin-star outlet with a top 100 wine cellar.
Upon further review though, you can amass a large bill rather quickly.
It gets expensive fast
If you order one of everything from the small plates and snacks, and appetizers sections (separate but redundant), the tab before tip is $497.85. My plan was to go through the entire menu and order one of everything to see what the grand total would be, but holy smokes does TCF have a ton of nonsense on their menu. Seriously, how are there more items in two sections of a menu than on the entire McDonald’s drive-thru board?
According to another article, Young had a lot of family and friends on scholarship, including an uncle as his business manager who shockingly scammed a fair share off the top. He bought relatives cars and his mom a house, and eventually filed for bankruptcy. I guess it’s really easy to burn through millions when you’re in a fugue state brought on by one too many orders of Chicken Bellagio and tamale cakes.
However, like Young ordering dessert, he’s not finished.
Flying solo
Perhaps more egregious than dropping $15K on a parade of frozen novelties heated up to the liking of Young’s party was the time he bought out an entire Southwest flight for privacy. Sportscasting did the math, estimating a low-end price to buy out a 140-seat flight would be around $14,000 at the minimum and upward of $30,000 depending on the group rate he got.
Jesus, would someone get this guy a travel agent. I could charter a private jet for a birthday trip to Miami for me and seven buddies right now for around $24,000.
It’s evident that Young had a hard time with fame and wealth, and now his disappointing pro career makes a lot more sense. I wouldn’t advise spending more than $5,000 at the Cheesecake Factory over an entire adult life yet alone every week. While my Cheesecake meter hasn’t started yet, I imagine I’d enjoy a Glamburger as much as the next red-blooded American.
But never, ever more than your boy Vince Young. Guy was carrying a couple of orders of asparagus fries in his chin by the time the league was done with him. Good lord.