The 45th People’s Choice Awards—arguably the most democratic awards show—took place in Santa Monica, California, Sunday night. Some famous people were there. Many of them wore looks. All of them wore clothes. Some wore their outfits better than others, because some people wore bad outfits. I’d like to talk about all of them now, beginning with the above: Gwen Stefani wore a giant white Vera Wang number, embossed with the phrase “FASHION ICON” on the train. Blake Shelton wore a look of appreciation, as if he still can’t believe she tolerates him. Coincidentally, I am also wearing that look.
The boys came in blue, lest we forget their gender presentation: Cole Sprouse went full-on, cruise-ship band leader in Berluti; I’m surprisingly here for Karamo Brown’s gold chain harness; and Stranger Things’ Caleb McLaughlin will take you to the glam “Old Town Road.”
I’ve never particularly cared for Alessia Cara’s style, but this Armani fit really works. YouTube star and Vlog Squad ringleader David Dobrik always phones it in, but I do love me some pinstripe pants. T-Pain should open up a school for fun fashion.
Does anyone still keep up with the Kardashians? Judging by these looks, I’d say they’re failing to keep up with style. Kim Kardashian-West’s textured mint Versace gown is pretty boring; Kourtney Kardashian’s Naeem Khan suit is gorgeous, I only wish she picked a more interesting bralette. I like Khloe Kardashian in LaQuan Smith, but her bra selection also leaves much to be desired. Kris Jenner in Alexander McQueen is good. I give props where they’re due.
Pink’s family always delivers cool and cute; her Bella Freud suit and a Juan Carlos Obando blouse is no exception. Terry Crews and Rebecca King-Crews both opting for pant suits with black jackets fills my cold, dead heart with unrelenting joy.
Zendaya’s Christopher Esber number proved there’s nothing boring about a little black dress, and I like the delicate polka dot detailing on D’arcy Carden’s frock. Brittany Snow’s gladiator gown is stunning.
A tip of the hat to those brave enough to try neon orange on the red carpet. Sarah Hyland’s Fausto Puglisi dress and Jimmy Choo shoes are a lewk, I just hope that cut remains an early ’00s fixture never to return again. Anne Winters from 13 Reasons Why really went ahead and decided to shoot her shot. She missed. Kat Dennings is the hottest bored person of all time; her apathetic expression almost serves to exaggerating the angular lines of her gown.
Happy Easter from The Real!
Kelsea Ballerini’s RaisaVanessa pastel pink crop top and matching skirt paired with those Giuseppe Zanotti pumps are so her, it works. Someone tell Hannah Brown she doesn’t have to keep wearing the gowns from the Bachelorette. KJ Apa’s Ermenegildo Zegna XXX suit is perfect. Archie could never.
Can there be an award show in 2019 without some metallic mayhem? Joey King’s rainbow The Attico dress is too sweet; Kelly Rowland looks like she could levitate, and I mean that in the most mythological way possible. Social media celeb Bretman Rock shows up when he’s invited, and I appreciate him so much for it.
Tana Mongeau (or Tana Paul?) thought it was still Halloween so she went as Jessica Rabbit. The 16-year-old Storm Reid deserves all the credit in the world for going the extra mile in this psychedelic blue number by Dutch designer Iris van Herpen. Why isn’t Rickey Thompson walking every runway, ever?
And now, for my favorite section: reality television starlets. Your Real Housewives of Beverly Hills forgot to call each other and talk outfits before showing up: Lisa Rinna and Kyle Richards both went full on white—one gown, one Diane Lane-meets-Stevie Nicks fit, respectively. They were fine. Teddi Jo Mellencamp wore a blue velvet mini dress that was not fine.
Dorit Kemsley went as the cover of a 1994 China Crisis album. Erika Jayne toned it down, but it works. RuPaul’s Drag Race star Brooke Lynn Hytes, who is not a housewife but absolutely could be one, draped herself in sequins.
Vanderpump Rules, just not the carpet: here newly weds Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor rock some boring prom fits, interrupted by Raquel Leviss in the worst look of the night. Perhaps she can use that additional fabric to fly away?
Tom Sandoval’s top has come from the future; Kristin Doute’s fit is pretty but casual, and Lala Kent is not here to play.
Last but certainly not least… unless, of course, you’re talking about the fashion: Scheana Shay wrapped herself up, slicked her hair back, and called it a day. Katie Maloney-Schwartz’s goth baby doll dress is cute, and I like Tom Schwartz’s velvet suit. In Los Angeles, he must be suffering for fashion. Good on him.