Every Look On the 76th Golden Globes Red Carpet

It feels entirely too early for awards season to have begun again, but at least we’re opening with a fun one: if you’ll recall, the Hollywood Foreign Press Assocation, being non-American, doesn’t have weird rules about getting loaded during a 100-hour ceremony, so all your faves on TV and film can grease the pomp with wine or whatever. What that means for you at home: Somebody’s bound to say something absurd or loopy.

From a red carpet perspective, gowns and suits tend to be pregaming for the Oscars—not so formal, but inching towards it. We’re still in the throes of fashion capitalism requiring its ambassadors to wear a handful of designers, this style flattening being one of the worst developments of the era of sponsorship and the corporate consolidation of high-end designers. That said, there are a few people whose appearances will not, I hope, disappoint: Co-host Sandra Oh is finally getting her moment (having been ROBBED of an Emmy last year), and so I hope she changes her look, like, 13-17 times. Yalitza Aparicio, Roma’s Mixtec-Triqui breakout star, has been stunning in all her public appearances, switching between more traditional Oaxacan designers and sleek, vibrant gowns like this stunner. And also, forever: Tracee Ellis Ross. Hit refresh a bunch because I’ll be live-posting in real time for the next zillion hours, as ever!

Sandra Oh’s first appearance of the night is purely classic Hollywood; please do note how her Veronica Lake wave is cascading in the opposite direction of her ruched sleeve, and how she and Killing Eve costar Jodie Comer went for contrasting hues, perhaps to signify their contrasting characters! Okay.

Joanna Newsom, with husband and co-host Andy Samberg, is wearing a Joanna Newsom-ass look: a sweetie swan dress with a heart neckline, ultrafeminine as always.

Missi Pyle is already having fun, it seems, in her “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” b/w “Material Girl” look. And Grown-ish’s Franca Raisa, presenter Sibley Scoles, and comedian Yvette Nicole Brown all came out strong in structured, voluminous, and sheer cut-out black gowns.

Crimson… it is emerging. Holly Taylor is a princess in volume, while Phoebe Waller-Bridge, my life idol and funniest British person in Britain, went for an incredible sequin gown that could totally double as a smart look for an afterparty at a mega-club. I love it. Hollywood Foreign Press Association president Meher Tatna matched her lovely cream look to her Time’s Up pin.

The younger generation came to slay! Camilla Belle is usually quite chic, but the monochromatic eyeshadow/gown situation is putting it over the top. Kiki Layne’s got my favorite look of the night, a cage bodice and tulle so elegant, and that choker! Laura Harrier’s casual cocktail ensemble is made by the peep-toe pump. Accessorizing is as important as the main attraction.

Isan Elba’s lovely and bubbly in multicolor paillettes; Jamie Lee Curtis and Lucy Boynton have matched their looks to their hair, which generally seems like a good move. Richard Madden, better known to us all as Robb Stark (and, FINE, the guy from Bodyguard) has taken a hair risk with a Susan Sontag grey stripe, which enhances his debonair-type-shit.

Yes Cody Fern, I see your 1994 Contempo Casuals sheer top and Margiela Tabi boots! Idris Elba’s turquoise tux is a pretty good argument for casting him as Bond, and Sabrina Dhowr’s floral flutter is something approximating my heart when I look at Idris Elba’s turquoise tux. Kristin Cavallari’s look is something she can keep and wear at like 95, it’s giving me Upper East Side lady who carries a Hermés and is shady to her doorman. Lili Reinhart’s red tulle is pretty but if it were me I would never sit down? Like, how you’re gonna keep the bustle from getting all fucked up on a chair for six hours.

Dakota Fanning is leaning into translucence. Elsie Fisher, ~~Hereditary~~ Eighth Grade phenom (oops! I write these quickly, sometimes I fuck up), is giving us something different on the carpet and I’m so happy! Velvet swashbuckler is a look. Jameela Jamil knows coral is her color; Judy Greer needs a new tailor, though I like the concept.

Linda Cardellini and Rachel Brosnahan are both going for eras—’80s, ’50s—but neither is quite doing much for me. Regina King’s ex machina pink, though, is awesomely femmebot, and Ricky Martin cleans up nice (LOL) in a tux!

Amy Adams is giving me librarian and I hate it, but also she is into understated and plain carpet gowns, so at least there’s an identifiable personal style there. Caitronia Balfe looks like a petit fours; Marti Noxon’s fun and springy and I think this is the red carpet version of Trinity Tuck’s runway look from the latest episode of Drag Race All-Stars. Rosamund Pike is so freakin’ English with that carefully draped, contrasting cardi. England has good fashion.

Lucy Liu is an early contender for the best dressed! On television, she looked like a woodlands faerie, very ethereal. Also, she’s apparently an artist who’s doing her first gallery show in Singapore next month, which is awesome. My roommate also just informed me, “She went to Stuy,” which he knows because he also went to Stuy. Fun facts!

D’Arcy Carden’s gown is reminding me of putting licorice in soda and using it as a straw. Dominique Jackson and Janet Mock are both just absolutely stunning in white goddess gowns; Sofia Carson’s Iberian lady-in-waiting look is cute, too.

Kieran Culkin, with Jazz Charton, is playing his character in Succession on the carpet, which is GREAT and hilarious and I can’t wait for Succession to come back. Amy Sherman-Palladino, with husband Daniel, is giving us a fierce bell sleeve and goth updo. She’s gonna go home and listen to Bell, Book & Candle for SURE. Emmy Rossum’s dainty tulle is nice with that slicked back ‘do. Sam Esmail is a nerd who keeps making shit I binge-watch, I owe him probably nine full days of my life.

Ice blues are underrated for the carpet, and Connie Britton really harnessed that shit; I’m not crazy about the detailing on Gina Rodriguez’s, though. Heidi Klum’s gown is fine. Judith Light is a vision of self-possession and can you believe she layered pearls over a mock turtleneck like that? ASPIRATIONAL!

Felicity Huffman’s beading is so lovely, and Glenn Close is wearing a thing I would probably wear: quasi-caftan with a sort of weird silver detail. MJ Rodriguez is lovely in cadet blue; Octavia Spencer’s giving us party vibes and I live for her sandals!

Indya Moore is the fiercest woman alive and I hope she wins! I don’t know if she’s nominated individually, I’m just expressing a general sentiment that I want her to win.

Alison Brie’s tulle and BRALETTE look is good, I love anything that’s like “hello, a prominent feature of this shit is a BRALETTE.” This is like upgrading the Instathottie. Gemma Chan is fully wearing shorts under this and I love that too! Penelope Cruz is an iridescent oil slick! Taraji P. Henson is a velvet spruce! Exciting!

Carol Burnett’s look, which is pretty similar across every red carpet, is the kind of look that says she knows she’s the elder stateswoman and also she knows you know that if you mouth off, your shit’s gonna get fucked up real quick. Chrissy Metz’s gown has pretty detailing, and Constance Wu looks like a prima ballerina. Keri Russell’s silver disco sequins are both elegant and celebratory, plus Grecian. I wonder if the inside is prickly, though.

Irina Shayk’s gold metal thing is just like a statue. Not sure why she’s here with a guy who pissed his pants at the last awards show he attended but WHATEVER! Julianne Moore’s skirt is a bit confusing to me but maybe it will reveal itself later; Melissa McCarthy is dressed like an actual fucking wizard!!! Ryan Michelle Bathe, my red carpet fave, is always giving us strong elegance, and she always matches her ensemble to Sterling K. Brown’s. Double velvet, baby.

Debra Messing’s emu realness is doing it for me! Emily Blunt is wearing a gown that is identical to a lamp hanging in my kitchen, shout to her and John Krasinski. They should refuse to talk all night in homage to their film. Joanne Turner (with husband Adam Driver) and Lady Gaga went for simple, pretty pastels, but Gaga matched her hair to her dress, a trend tonight that I love!

I’m not in love with Janelle Monáe’s ~~custom Calvin Klein gown~~ Chanel gown from the latest Metiers d’Art collection, but I am certain she is the only person who could effectively pull it off: gladiator with cyborg accessories, and a dresses over dresses look (bring it back!). I do love the gilded pillbox hat! What do you think about this? It might be a grower.

Isla Fisher’s stripey 1840s gown isn’t my favorite, nor is Kate Mara’s confusing double-strapped cleavage nightgown. But Julia Roberts and Rami Malek are unfuckwithable, nearly always, especially Julia’s clean lines and sharp trousers.

Claire Foy’s a pretty fireworks display; Emma Stone’s partial to this peachy shade and I don’t know why; Elisabeth Moss’s tux-y party dress is actually really cool-girl (not in the shitty way); Rachel Weisz’s ruffle cascade is a waterfall of the shoulders.

Billy Porter is best dressed. That’s it! Everyone else can go home!

Amber Heard’s wearing the gown I would have worn for prom if I had gone in 1991. Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are practicing for the runway; Catherine Zeta Jones’s emerald gown is structured like an art deco building; Michael B. Jordan in a tux, always a beautiful experience.

Here’s a lot of traditional red carpet glamour, the kind Hollywood demands: Jessica Chastain in sleek black, Danai Gurira stunning in a gown of fire, Kevin Kwon in velvet and Michelle Yeoh in—leather!!—and Lupita Nyong’o, style icon, dripping in crystals (drip drip).

Wine wins again for Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman. Not sure, though, what Timothee Chalamet was thinking with that sequin harness, nor Anne Hathaway, getting really O.D. with the leopard print trend. However, as Michelle Visage said on Drag Race this week, “My favorite color is leopard,” so maybe Anne’s just repping Jersey.

Amy Poehler’s gown reminds me of when they put the little sock on the turkey. Charlize Theron’s doing Dior model eleganza, and Saoirse Ronan’s giving us serious chandelier. Zinzi Evans and Ryan Coogler look sleek and know that it’s cute to match on the carpet!

More matching sleekness: Alana Mayo and Lena Waithe, both looking fantastic, and their spiritual outfit pal, Candace Bergen. John David Washington went for the negative tuxedo and I’m extremely unmad, and Stephanie Beatriz’s midsummer nights iridescence is working for her!

Allison Janney’s Tiffany blue look has great sleeves, almost like they’re aspiring to mittenhood. Joe Alwyn is here with his foppy 1983 dad hair. Is he in anything? Why is he here? You know why Olivia Coleman is here, though, and the answer is to win all the shit she’s nommed for. Mahershala Ali and Amatus Sami-Karim brought it with the patterns.

Maya Rudolph’s ruffly nightdress looks comfortable; Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry are probably the coolest-dressed people here; Stephan James, great in Homecoming and looks like an actual prince; Troye Sivan’s shining in custom Calvin Klein.