Nathan W. Pyle, the guy behind the famous NYC etiquette cartoons, has a tip for all of you, if you’ll shut up for just one goddamn second. That’s the tip, actually: when someone says something, and now it’s your turn to talk, and you’re ready to respond emotionally and escalate the conversation, maybe hold your big mouth shut for just one little moment. Can you do that? Here’s Nathan’s multi-part Instagram post, if you can be bothered to click through and pay attention to someone else for once:
Nathan’s tip, originally published on BuzzFeed, just went viral on Instagram, because thousands of people stopped going “me me me” for just the tiniest bit of time and realized “oh hey, maybe I should take that in.” Which coincidentally is the second part of this tip.
When Nathan pauses in a conversation, he thinks about his frame of reference, and the other person’s frame of reference, and how those might be responsible for any perceived disagreement. Then he thinks about how to align those two frames of reference through harmonious discussion, instead of immediately disagreeing.
It’s simple advice, but it’s a good reminder, because we all could stand to be a little less quick to argue, a little more understanding of each other, and not so eager to get in each other’s frickin’ face, right? Right? You got that buddy? Are you even listening?
OK great thanks!