Azealia Banks has done something you probably never thought she’d do: She’s apologized.

The notoriously unfiltered rapper has issued a public apology letter to Zayn Malik, whom she trashed on Twitter earlier this year. In case you missed that mess the first time around (and honestly, for your peace of mind, I hope you did), Banks fired off a series of homophobic and racist tweets at Zayn, calling him a “hairy curry scented bitch” among other hurtful jabs.

In her apology letter, Banks attempts to make amends, writing, “There are no words that can fully express how sorry I am. Recent events have taught me the importance of taking accountability for ones actions. I want and need to say I am sorry, I was wrong.”

The “recent events” she mentions presumably refer to her alleged altercation with Russell Crowe at a Beverly Hills hotel last weekend. Banks claims Crowe kicked her out of a dinner party, called her the n-word, choked her, and spat on her. (Crowe hasn’t officially commented, but TMZ has reported that Banks’s accusations are untrue.) She has since demanded an apology from Crowe, which could explain her sudden need to reach out to Zayn, a whole five months after her tirade.

After congratulating Z on leaving One Direction (“walking away took bravery and strength”), Banks explains that she mistook some of his tweets as a “personal attack” against her. “This set me off and I began a reckless and unacceptable rant; but every cloud has a silver lining and what happened has taught me that not everything is about me and not everything is directed at me. Thank you for teaching me this, it is a lesson that I desperately needed to learn,” she writes.

Banks finishes her letter by apologizing not only to Zayn, but to everyone who was “hurt and offended” by her comments.

“I am not cruel, nor am I heartless or vindictive,” she writes. “There is a lot of love in my heart and there is good in my soul. What I did was wrong and I am committed to becoming a better person.”

Will that commitment actually hold up? Keep your eyes peeled on Banks’s Twitter to find out. In the meantime, read her five-months-too-late letter to Zayn below, via Us Weekly.