If you’re a soon-to-be-father working for a company that offers you paid paternity leave, you should take it. According to one study, only five percent of employed fathers took more than two weeks off after their youngest child was born. Yet there are tremendous benefits for dads (and their children) who take advantage of this benefit, including improved relationships with their family.
But what exactly should you do during this time in your baby’s life? We’ll look at how you can make the most of your paternity leave.
Take care of your partner
While you may think this time is for you and your child, it’s also about your partner and allowing them to focus and bond with the newest member of your family, as well. Especially if your partner gave birth, now’s the time to make dinner, wash the dishes, do the laundry, and wait on them hand and foot. If you’ve adopted or your child was born via a surrogate, now is the time to care for each other and work together. More on that later.
Set up appointments and checkups
Your child needs a lot of attention, and not just from you and your partner: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends a pediatrician visit several days after birth. Then they’ll need a checkup at 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, and 24 months. Appointment schedules fill up fast, so call your child’s doctor now to ensure they’re healthy and their vaccines are up to date later. And if you’re still looking for the right pediatrician, here are some ways to do it.
Learn practical childcare tasks
Thanks to movies and television, men have been led to believe that changing a diaper or feeding a child will lead to a mess. While there is some truth to this, I can count the times my sons urinated on me on one hand. Take the time to learn the most basic childcare tasks, either during maternity leave or taking a daddy boot camp at a local hospital before they’re born. You’ll never know when they’ll come in handy.
Look for a daycare
If you and your partner are planning to return to work when your respective leaves are over, you’ll need to find the right daycare that will not only watch your child but also work to ensure they’re reaching the proper developmental milestones. You can always research on Google, but another suggestion is to solicit referrals from friends and neighbors. And if you haven’t found what you need, there are other ways to find good, reliable childcare.
Create a care schedule
Your child will dictate your and your partner’s schedule for the first three months of their life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to plan ahead. The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services recommends taking a few minutes each week to prioritize and write down what needs to be done and when. Then check in with each other throughout the week to see how things are going and adjust as needed. The agency even has a printable calendar to help.
Set up a college fund
In case you hadn’t heard, college is expensive. To avoid saddling your young one with a lifetime of debt to pay for their education, you should consider investing in a tax-advantaged 529 savings plan. For more information on these programs, visit this page on the Securities and Exchange Commission’s website. The more you save now, the less you and your child will have to spend later.
Change your exercise routine
Men gain an average of 4.4 pounds when they become a dad for the first time, according to a Northwestern study.
“You have new responsibilities when you have your kids and may not have time to take care of yourself the way you once did in terms of exercise,” said Dr. Craig Garfield, the study’s lead author and associate professor of pediatrics and medical social sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine and attending pediatrician at Ann and Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago. “Your family becomes the priority.”
Consider a home streaming workout like Apple Fitness+ or Peloton to stay in shape. When you invest even a few minutes in your fitness, you’ll be surprised at the results.
Connect with other dads
Being a new dad can be isolating and overwhelming, with one in 10 new fathers experiencing depressive behavior after the birth of a child. The anxiety can lead to panic attacks and paternal postpartum depression. One way to feel less alone is to connect with other dads. City Dads has chapters in cities nationwide and offers everything from boot camps to field trips.
Go out on a date
Get a babysitter or call the in-laws and spend quality time with your partner—you never know when you’ll have another opportunity. Not only will it help strengthen your relationship, but it’ll help remind both of you that you’re in this together.